Best Auto Responder Messages

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply toyou if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain andheart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Yourmessage has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and trysending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can seewho did this over and over and over....)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply inapproximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.

Growing Customers with Drip-Marketing (Excellent Article)

or Everything I Needed to Know about Business, I Learned in My Garden
By Jim Cecil:

I am sure of this. When trust must go before commitment, that relationship is always a multiple contact affair. There have been many useful metaphors chosen to illustrate the intentional and careful cultivation of customer relationships. I have found growing customers to be a lot like tending my garden. The right amount of thoughtful planning and preparation, intelligent nurturing and diligent cultivating — and, yes, intentional even ruthless pruning nearly always pay huge dividends at harvest time.

Here are a few nurturing tips to help make your own customer garden positively blossom. Go ahead, play in the dirt and remember 'as ye sow, so shall ye reap'.

http://www.nurturemarketing.com/